Yes, I am a bitter woman
Nora
I decided to have a bath after feeling sorry for myself in bed for a while. I want to remove all traces of them from my body. And especially him.
I grabbed my pyjamas from the closet and took them with me to the bathroom. I learned, the hard way, what could happen if he came into my room, and I was in a towel or underwear after the bath.
It doesn't matter that I locked the door. He will always have access. As he once told me, this was his house, and he could go anywhere. OK, so the bathroom is the safest place to change.
I turned on the hot tap and put some bubbles in the water. I try to use floral scents, as I found that these oils relaxed me and kept my mind calm. After removing my clothes, I dove in. The sensation of the hot water on my skin made me shiver, needing all the comfort I could get. I put a wet towel on my face and relaxed.
After a while, I felt my fingers wrinkle, and not only that, the water had turned cold. That's when I knew it was time to get out.
After drying my body and hair, I got dressed. I felt exhausted all of a sudden. It was not physical exhaustion, but emotional. My life was falling apart, and I was useless to help myself. All the barriers that I had erected around my heart were no longer enough.
My character was getting bitter little by little. And lately, I was even surprised by how deep my feelings ran through everyone. I hate them all, with a passion. Emotional abuse does that to a person. Unconsciously attack before being attacked. I have discovered that, and I do it very regularly. Moreover, avoiding confrontations is my highest priority, and the less I am around them, the better. This terrible life would be more bearable if I didn't see him so often.
I used to cry a lot before, knowing what was happening made me depressed, and desperate. There was always sadness in my life. My tears are no longer caused by sadness; the tears are mainly caused by resentment and helplessness.
The surrounding people have all contributed to the destruction of my life. As it turned out, it was the people that should be protecting me who put the final nail in my coffin. This frustration makes me feel like I'm drowning. I need help, and I need it now before I collapse.
My only desire after getting out of the bathroom was to lay in bed and close my eyes. I need to escape from this reality, if only through my dreams. But I know they are only that, dreams.
But my wishes were much to ask because after coming out of the bathroom, I found Erik sitting on my bed. I was horrified, and when I recovered from the shock that his presence caused me, I continued as if nothing had happened like he wasn't here.
I went to my dresser to apply cream and brush my hair. As I walked around the room, I felt his gaze following me, until he said to me, “Nora, you have to be ready, we're going to your parent's house for lunch. It's your mother's birthday, so they want you to be there.”
I didn't say anything, he already knows I don't want anything to do with them. But that didn't matter to him, and after a few seconds of not answering him, he insisted, “Did you hear me, Nora? I'm talking to you. Your attitude is getting worse, and I've had enough! I don't think it is necessary for me to remind you that it's not wise to piss me off.”
And without looking at him, I replied, “Why don't you take your new friend? I'm sure they won't be bothered by it. In fact, I think they will get along very well, my parents and your lover, sounds like a plan. At least you could avoid my attitude,” I was already preparing for the attack, and as always, he did not disappoint me.
He took me by the arm and jerked me up from the seat. I turned my head to the side to avoid looking at his face, but he didn't want any of that. He grabbed my hair and forced me to face him. My face was in front of his, and my eyes collided with his. His hard and unforgivable eyes.
“You have been warned, Nora. If you are not ready in time, you already know what awaits you.”
With that said, he released me, pushing me backwards. This made me, hit my hip on the table. Fortunately, that made my fall stop. The only thing left for me to do was nod, resigning myself.
He looked at me for a moment, then turned and left my room. As if nothing had happened, I turned around, sat on my dresser, and continued brushing my hair. When I was done, I turned on the television and lay down in bed. I fell fast asleep, dreaming of a better future.
The next morning, I woke up with a headache. Maybe it was the tension that this day would bring me. I got out of bed and headed to the bathroom to do my morning routine. Dressing in sports clothes, I tied up my hair and left my room.
I went downstairs and headed for the door. The house I live in is huge, in fact, it is massive. And there is this beautiful garden surrounding it, it is so big that it looks like a small forest. Every morning I do the same, I go for a run. This helps me to scatter my mind for a moment and forget about my tragedy.
An hour later, I returned home to have a shower. In this way, it was possible to avoid breakfast with them. I went back to my room and took a quick shower. Today I knew it was inevitable, so at once, I got my clothes ready. I always choose black to go to the Collins's house. Black means I'm in mourning, maybe they don't know it, but my parents died a long time ago. They are no longer part of my life, and technically, my last name is Costa, so it is all easier this way.
I took my time getting ready, my beautiful black hair takes time and effort to make it look radiant. I let my hair down, my waves falling gently over my shoulders, reaching the middle of my back.
The dress I selected hangs loosely, reaching mid-thigh. It is not long, but it is not short either. This one has no sleeves and the neck is V-shaped, so it shows my feminine attributes in a sexy way, but without being vulgar. Not that I dress up for someone in particular, but more than anything, I want to show everybody that I have not been defeated. I intend to look my best.
The inferiority that Erik caused me with his infidelities would not weigh me down so much if I looked the part. And it would give me more courage to face people who know my situation. By now, I think everyone knows what we were up to in this shame of a marriage.
After a while, I heard someone knock on my door. I knew it was time. Taking a deep breath, I grabbed my handbag, with everything a woman could need, and opened the door without seeing who it was and came out. I went downstairs and Erik was waiting for me at the exit door. When he saw me, his eyes darkened, and his gaze became dangerous. I'm used to his mood swings by now. To me, he was ridiculous.
He opened the door for me to get out first, without exchanging a single word from the time we got in the car until we reached The Collins' house, taking us around forty minutes. I waited in the car until Erik got out and opened the door for me. He held out his hand for me to take it, but like on all other occasions, I did not accept it and got out of the car without his help.
I know this infuriates him, but at the moment, he couldn't do anything to me. Arriving at his house, it will be another story.
When we reached the front door, he rang the bell, and immediately the help opened it and welcomed us. Upon entering, I observed that everything remained the same. Except for some small changes in the decoration.
A few steps from where we were, The Collins were talking to a couple of entrepreneurs. I've seen them before, but I had never struck up a conversation with them.
When the Collins saw us, they apologized and walked over to us. My mother had a smile on her face looking at me, and me? I looked the other way. Charles greeted Erik first, as always, he was always first. That no longer mattered, they were nothing to me.
After exchanging a few words, finally, he addressed me “Daughter, you are beautiful, I haven't seen you for a long time.” He was going to kiss me on the cheek, but I backed away, avoiding him. His hypocritical smile faded, and then he shook his head in frustration.
Erik saw this, and he immediately took my arm and discreetly squeezed it so much that I couldn't contain the little cry of pain that escaped my lips. He leaned close to my ear and said in a low voice, “Behave yourself, I don't want incidents.” Thereafter, he released me.
My mother came up to me and hugged me, but of course, I didn’t return the greeting. It was as if she were hugging a wooden post. They won't have my affection, ever again. I swore it a long time ago.
She looked at me and her face looked disappointed. After that, they started talking, as if they were the best of friends. I preyed on that moment to escape them and went to the terrace. I always like to spend time there. The walls were glass, so the view of the garden was incredible. Inside, it was full of plants and there was a room with a giant television hanging from one of the walls.
I went to the couch and turned on the TV. I chose whatever program seemed interesting to me, and that was how I spent most of the time, until, unfortunately, I was interrupted by Charles.
He came over and sat on the couch across from me. I kept watching TV. He didn't exist to me, no matter how many beatings Erik gave me or how many days I spent in the basement. Nothing could make me accept them again, nothing.
No, a true father would never do it. So I remained silent. He didn't deserve anything from me, not even spitting in his face. No, he was a stranger to whom I would not give my time. But he began to get frustrated with my lack of response, he should be used to this, the same thing always happens.
But it appears that he still keeps hope that I will forget his betrayal and fold my hands. Then he grabbed the control of the TV and turned it off. However, I kept my gaze on the screen.
“NORA, ENOUGH.” He yelled at me, grabbing my arm, but I managed to free myself immediately. His touch burned me. I got up slowly and left the terrace.
In the distance, I could only hear him calling out my name. Thereafter, I decided to go to the bathroom. I had spent a lot of time sitting on the terrace and my bladder was already complaining.
Two bathrooms are located on the ground floor. I decided to use one of them. The purpose of those was to attend to visitors. The top ones could be used by family members or friends. However, I was just a stranger in this house.
After I finished, I opened the door and walked out. To my dismay, Erik was outside, waiting for me. I swallowed hard, trying to gather what remaining strength I still had. After closing the bathroom door, I walked straight ahead.
When I had just passed him, he grabbed my arm and pushed me against the wall. Putting his face in front of mine, he drew me into a corner with his arms. He pressed his forehead to mine, and I could hear that his breathing was heavy, and between teeth, he said to me, “I'm sick of you and your tantrums. You're going to act as my wife for the rest of the afternoon and when we get home, you will go straight to the basement.” Those words fell on me like ice water. I expected it, my fear always came true with this man.
If he was going to lock me up anyway, then I wouldn’t have to play any more. So, I pushed him with all my might away from me, and said, “Don’t you dare to touch me again with your disgusting hands. These, probably still have the smell of a prostitute's vagina, you are filthy.”
Without waiting for his reply, I headed for the exit, not before grabbing my handbag that was on a hanger by the door. Opening the door, I went out.
I ran to the street, and once I was on the avenue, I stopped a taxi. I told the driver where to go, and he drove off, not bothering to turn to see if someone was behind me.
Of course, I did not go to Erik's house but rather instructed the driver to take me to the mall away from this area. From what I knew, these would be the last hours that I would enjoy my freedom before being thrown in the basement for a while.
I tried to forget what happened and enjoy my time without him, so I went shopping. From store to store, I bought what I wanted. Then I went to the cinema and bought a ticket. I got a giant bucket of popcorn and a few sweets. I haven't enjoyed something like that for a long time.
When the film ended, it was already late. I called a taxi and gave him the address. It took us an hour to get to his house. Meanwhile, all the way, I tried to convince myself that I was strong and that whatever Erik does to me would be nothing he hadn't done before. But the truth is that I was trembling with fear. That man is violent, and when it comes to me, more.
I do not understand at what time he started this development of such unhealthy jealousy. He's the one who betrays our marriage, not me. But maybe it's his way of diverting attention from him and putting it on me.
Sadly, the trip came to an end, and upon arriving at the entrance gate, the taxi stopped. It was fine for him to leave me here, I told the driver. When I got out of the taxi, he helped me unload my purchases and lay them on the floor. Then, I opened my handbag and paid him.
Taking a deep breath, I grabbed my bags and headed to the slaughterhouse. Arriving at the door, I put my purchases on the floor to get the keys out of my handbag. But before I could reach in, the door was thrown open. My eyes widened in surprise, and I jumped back in shock. But Erik grabbed me by my hair, pulling me inside.
